With my nose, I will never again have to smell the impregnation of cheap tobacco and perspiration on your unlaundered shirts; With my diaphragm, I will never have to contain the vomit from my stomach from the taste of bourbon and canker on your kiss; With my heart, I will never have to worry if you are worthy of caring for a true woman because even with one glass eye, I see clearly that you are not.
Be assured your broken marriage promise makes me feel like singing and roller-skating through the streets until my voice is hoarse, my legs can no longer support me, and the day is done.
Good riddance, Rubbage!
Cindy Sherman's found postcard
Photographer Cindy Sherman recently showed off her “found” object — a scathing postcard from a male suitor breaking off his engagement to a woman with a glass eye to the New York Times:
“Fair Deceiver: I did not know until last night that you had a glass eye. Woman you have deceived me and our engagement is off! If I had married you, perhaps I would have found out that you had a cork leg, wore a wig and chewed your gum with false teeth — Anyway, I don’t think you could boil water without burning it. I want a girl that can do several things besides rubbing lip rouge on my cheek. Chase around girlie and get another guy.”
The card makes one wonder what led up to the suitor’s card, and what ensued following. Post your inspired narrative to or from the “Fair Deceiver”.