The Fair Deceiver

Found: “The Fair Deceiver” responds

Disheveled Fool,

With my nose, I will never again have to smell the impregnation of cheap tobacco and perspiration on your unlaundered shirts; With my diaphragm, I will never have to contain the vomit from my stomach from the taste of bourbon and canker on your kiss; With my heart, I will never have to worry if you are worthy of caring for a true woman because even with one glass eye, I see clearly that you are not.

Be assured your broken marriage promise makes me feel like singing and roller-skating through the streets until my voice is hoarse, my legs can no longer support me, and the day is done.

Good riddance, Rubbage!

1 year ago

Cindy Sherman's found postcard

Photographer Cindy Sherman recently showed off her “found” object — a scathing postcard from a male suitor breaking off his engagement to a woman with a glass eye to the New York Times:

“Fair Deceiver: I did not know until last night that you had a glass eye. Woman you have deceived me and our engagement is off! If I had married you, perhaps I would have found out that you had a cork leg, wore a wig and chewed your gum with false teeth — Anyway, I don’t think you could boil water without burning it. I want a girl that can do several things besides rubbing lip rouge on my cheek. Chase around girlie and get another guy.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/29/fashion/cindy-shermans-vintage-notecard.html

The card makes one wonder what led up to the suitor’s card, and what ensued following. Post your inspired narrative to or from the “Fair Deceiver”.

1 year ago